In
modern society, to be a father is really an
important duty. It is really not easy to be
able to "play hard", "earn a
lot", as well as to form a parent-child
relationship and raise the children together
with your wife. A good parent-child relationship
cannot be built in a day, and parents have to
take really a lot of time and energy. If you
can be a good father, not only can you make
your children grow up healthy and happy, you
will also make your life more abundant.
Do you agree with the following
views on being a father?
Agree
Disagree
1
Praising children a
lot will make them proud.
2
What parents said are
mostly true, so children should not disobey.
3
Teaching children to
do homework is the responsibility of my wife.
4
Matters concerning
daily life, such as extra-curricular activities
or what clothes to wear, should be arranged
by parents.
5
Father is the head
of a family, and should always maintain an image
of authority.
6
It is enough to "love"
children with one's heart, and not necessary
to say it.
7
If the father is too
kind, the children will disregard his teaching.
8
Occasions like parent-teacher
association gathering, parent-child sports day,
speech day, can be attended just by the mother,
it is most important for the father to earn
a living for the family.
9
When children meet
something unhappy, they will calm down very
soon, so when they feel unhappy, there is no
need to pay attention to them.
10
Children have to obtain
grade A in at least 5 subjects in the HKCEE
in order to have a better prospect.
If you agree with any of the above
views, it means that you have "outdated" concepts
of parenting. Such wrong concepts can exert pressure on
your children and may even create conflicts, thus affecting
the communication and relationship between the two generations.
Difficulties of being a father
1.
My children say that
I am rather quiet, so they are not willing to
get close to me.
In order to create
a deep parent-child relationship with our children,
sometimes we have to learn a kind and humorous
way of communication. In this way, the children
will feel that the father is easy to get close
to. The father can learn to listen to the needs
and thoughts of the children. More admiration
and encouragement, less correcting and lecturing,
so that the children will like to get close
to and communicate with the father.
2.
My children always
complain that I do not spare time to keep them
company. When I come home from work, they have
already gone to sleep. On Saturdays and Sundays,
I have to work too.
To cultivate a parent-child
relationship, it is really necessary to have
enough time to get together in order to understand
the needs of children. Facing heavy workload
and the pressure of living, the father really
has to give more thoughts to time management
so as to balance the needs of work and family.
You can first arrange time for family gathering
and then your work. If you cannot arrange time
for family gathering for the time being, you
may consider writing slips, making phone calls
or taking recorded messages to show concern
for your children.
3.
My children always
say that I am too strict. What should I do?
As a father in modern
society, the way of teaching children is certainly
different from that of the older generation.
Nowadays, the community generally regards that
one should bear in mind beliefs like "respect",
"human rights", "equality"
and "freedom" when communicating with
your children. Therefore, "beating and
scolding" and "corporal punishment"
are already out of accord with the times. These
ways of teaching cannot gain support, nor make
the children accept the teaching, and may even
cause hatred and confrontation, thus affecting
your relationship with children. You can try
to analyze the problem and principles with your
children to form good communication, and to
save enough "private space" for them
under mutual trust and respect.
To be a good father
in a relaxed and easy manner, you can take the following
hints:
Be more caring and easy to
get close to
The father needs to keep company of his children
and know every side of them in order to form a close
relationship;
The father can also show the tender side towards
his children;
Participate more in the parent-child activities
held by the children's schools so as to create more
topics of talks of interest;
Show more comfort and concern to your children.
Show more admiration and
acceptance
Pay more attention to and show admiration for
your children;
Respect the desires of your children and understand
their difficulties;
Listen more to the views of your children;
Praise and confirm more of the achievements of
your children and relieve unnecessary stress.
Source :
Social Welfare Department
brochure on fathering.
Healthy Family
Child Care Hotline of Tung Wah Group of Hospitals
Phone : 2770 2262